Questa è la lettera che Kurt Cobain scrisse prima di
suicidarsi il 4 aprile 1994 e,per non essere uno dei tanti che hanno rovinato
le sue parole trascrivendole o traducendole male l’ ho riportata così come lui
stesso l ‘ha scritta.
È però disponibile una trascrizione e una traduzione
che secondo me si avvicinano di molto a quello che Kurt ha voluto intendere.
Trascrizione
To Boddah
Speaking from the
tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an
emasculated, infantile complain-ee.
This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from
the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the,
shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your
community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of
listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too
many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.
For example when we're
backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins, it
doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury, who seemed to
love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd, which is something I
totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It
simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip
people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.
Sometimes I feel as if
I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried
everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do,
but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and
entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who only
appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly
numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours,
I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally
and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt
and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply
love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad
little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man!
Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a
wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of
what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because
everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to
where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the
miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very
good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards
all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along
and have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I
guess.
Thank you all from the
pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the
past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don't have the passion
anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, Love, Empathy.
Kurt Cobain
Frances and Courtney,
I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU
Traduzione
" Da troppi anni, ormai, non ho piu'
provato esaltazione ascoltando musica, o creando musica, o scrivendo davvero
qualcosa, e per questo mi sento tremendamente in colpa. Le folle urlanti non mi
esaltano come esaltavano Freddy Mercury, al quale sembrava che l'amore e
l'adorazione della folla dessero un enorme piacere. E questa e' una cosa che io
ammiro e invidio tantissimo: ma il fatto e' che io non sono capace di imbrogliarvi,
di imbrogliare nessuno di voi. Semplicemente non sarebbe onesto, ne' nei vostri
confronti, ne' nei miei........C'e' del buono in ognuno di noi, e io
sinceramente amo troppo la gente. L'amo così tanto da sentirmi troppo
fottutamente triste. Triste, sensibile, incompreso, Pesce, Gesu'. Ho avuto un
buon matrimonio, e di questo sono riconoscente. Ma fin dall'età' di sette anni
ho cominciato a detestare tutti gli esseri umani in generale, soltanto perché
per la gente sembrava cosi' facile andare d'accordo......EMPATIA......Grazie a
tutti voi dal fondo del mio infiammato, nauseato stomaco per le vostre lettere
e la vostra sollecitudine di questi ultimi anni. Sono una persona troppo
strana, malinconica, e non ho piu' entusiasmi. Qualcuno lassù mi ama. E ricordate:
e' meglio bruciarsi subito che spegnersi lentamente.
Amore, Pace ed Empatia "
Kurt Cobain